


The Odd Couple

by soufflegirl91



Series: Souffle's 007 Fest 2020 Fancreations [26]
Category: James Bond (Craig movies)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Drabble, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Getting Together, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-17
Updated: 2020-07-17
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:14:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25329127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soufflegirl91/pseuds/soufflegirl91
Summary: 5 times Bond and Q had to pretend to be boyfriends for *reasons* and one time they were
Relationships: James Bond/Q
Series: Souffle's 007 Fest 2020 Fancreations [26]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1809892
Comments: 5
Kudos: 143
Collections: 007 Fest Fancreations





	The Odd Couple

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Celyan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Celyan/gifts).



> For Mely, who requested "5 times Bond and Q had to pretend to be boyfriends for *reasons* and one time they were" 
> 
> Also fills "fake marriage" on the trope prompt table.

##  1 - San Francisco

“Are you  _ sure _ this is the best cover?” 

Q looked around the crowded bar, feeling dreadfully obvious. Bond, the  _ bastard _ , was cool as a metaphorical cucumber. One elbow leaned casually on the bar while the opposite hand brushed tantalisingly close to Q’s waist. It was… distracting. 

_ “Relax _ , Q. It’s a gay bar. This is by far the easiest way to blend in without inviting company. I have eyes on the door, you have eyes on the barman. We’ll be able to watch the whole transaction.”

Q sighed, resigned to the inevitable dreams that would haunt him after all this teasing. 

##  2 - Helsinki

“She’s looking.”

“Yes, Q, I can  _ see _ that. I don’t think she’s made us.”

“How can you-mmph!”

Before he could finish his sentence, Bond was  _ kissing _ him! His lips were surprisingly soft, it was-  _ Why _ was Bond kissing him?! 

Just as Q raised a hand to push back against Bond’s shoulder, the agent pulled away.

“What,” Q said, panting for breath, “was  _ that?!” _

Bond, eyes sparkling with humour, opened his mouth, clearly about to say something ill-advised. Whatever he saw in Q’s expression must have changed his mind, and he turned contrite. 

“She needed a reason not to suspect us.”

##  3 - Santorini

“-and remember, we’re newlyweds. Try to look happy.”

“Happy to be married to you. Right,” Q muttered, forcing a smile that hopefully didn’t look  _ too  _ false. How the hell  _ he _ had ended up on this mission with Bond instead of  _ literally anybody else _ , Q didn’t know. “Well,  _ darling _ , our room should be riiiight… here.” 

Bond wordlessly pushed Q behind him as he went in first, gun raised. Q tried not to roll his eyes. He failed. 

The honeymoon suite was bright and beautiful. At the centre of the room?  _ One _ large, decadent bed.

At least a week, M said.

_ Fuck. _

##  4 - Paris

_ “You bastard!” _

Q looked up to see an angry frenchman striding towards them. He turned a raised brow to Bond, who… actually looked  _ alarmed _ .

_ “You dare come back here after you seduced my wife! I’ll kill you!”  _

Oh. 

“You didn’t tell me you’d been here before,” Q murmured. “I don’t see any sign of the wife.” 

_ “She  _ tried seducing  _ me. _ I refused. She must have lied to him about it.”

“Well,” Q said lightly, scooting his chair closer to Bond’s and very  _ obviously _ taking his hand. “Let’s get you out of this mess, shall we?”

Bond squeezed his hand, gratefully. 

##  5 - Tokyo

“Ah, Mr Bond. You have a reservation for two rooms for three nights.”

Q had felt eyes on them all the way from the Metro to their hotel. One glance at the tense set of Bond’s shoulders told him he wasn’t imagining things. 

“Actually,” Bond smoothly cut in, pulling Q in close with an arm around his waist. Q cuddled in wordlessly, trusting Bond’s instincts. “There was a mistake with our booking. It’s just the one room.”

“Need to keep you safe,” Bond whispered in Q’s ear, disguised as a kiss.

Q felt his heart lurch. He was  _ so screwed.  _

##  +1 - London

“Mrrrp!”

Sam leaped up onto Q’s lap with a chirp, settling himself into his favourite spot. Q obligingly scratched between his ears, snuggling closer into his companion. He felt a kiss against his forehead, and smiled.

Indian takeaway on the sofa, in front of a film they’d both missed at the cinema. 

“It’s not exactly the Savoy,” he murmured, afraid to speak too loudly in case it broke the spell of this perfect evening.

“No,” Bond agreed, one arm around Q and the other stroking Sybil under the chin. Q’s cats had taken to Bond like a dream. “It’s better.” 


End file.
